So here’s the deal. I bought the best concealer last year when for the first time I saw something that horrified me. Real honest to God dark circles under my eyes. I looked like I was sick again. It had been almost a year since I had come through the other side of Hyperemesis and I now had this beautiful bounding ball of joy to show for it. Why did I look like this?
I didn’t recognize myself in the mirror anymore. Sleep. Sleep was starting to show what happens when I didn’t have it. What a lot of people don’t talk about is that when your baby is sleeping you just want to stare at them and when you’re not staring and smelling their sweet babyness you want to be you. The adult with dreams and interests for at least a glimpse time. You are exhausted, that is no question but some illogical part of you will not let you sleep until you have “relaxed” a bit. For me, I used to work at least 2 jobs at a time, a full time and a part time and then some sort of freelance and way too many hobbies. I would be lying if I said I feel completely filled up and stimulated after a day of child raising. I don’t. I love my time with her but I also know I need more. Not only for myself, but for her. I am not myself, nor am I good teacher and role model, when I personally do not have my own projects taking place.
Here is what I didn’t expect. Little Leona here, was a CHAMP at sleeping as a newborn and infant. There was so much time in the day to love on her, sleep, and be creative. Newborns are a breeze, a really cool one :) Then at around 10 months we realized that our champion sleeper was not going to want to stop co-sleeping nor was she going to be one of those, stop nursing out of blue types. She also would not under any circumstance (we tried tried everything, pinky promise!) fall asleep on her own. Drowsy but awake? HA!
Then she decided not only that but only daddy could put her to bed. And naps? Who the heck naps? And mom, feed me ALL night. Ok? Got it? I want to lay on top of you and twist and pull and poke you all night long. I want your fit bit to show that you have only slept less than 3 hours (not consecutively) a night for this whole year.
And she won. She met all of her goals. We tried to coerce her into what we needed but alas it just never stuck.
That is until a week ago. One night she said, in not so many words, “Alright you guys I will accept this crazy bedtime routine you so desperately want because I’m two now. Fine. I’m tired, happy?” and she laid in the bed after books and kissed us goodnight, let out a little whimper and then just cuddled her stuffed animal. We came back in and what do you know, she was asleep! Now, she is still nursing for about 3 hours in the wee hours of the morning but sweet God, she naps, she goes to sleep, and she is ok now. We can all breathe a bit.
All of this basically to show a silver lining. In my desperation to tricky myself into feeling awake, I found some awesome concealer that made everyone think for a whole year that I had been sleeping. I’ve never really worn face makeup and I felt like I joined the adult world and I love the put together feeling. This concealer is magic.
Did your kids have a hard time sleeping? Have any quirky tricks you used that aren’t in the baby books? We used to sit under the venthood with Leona! What good “look alive” beauty tips do you have? Do tell!